I’ve noticed since listening to Christmas music this year that songs seem to treat Eskimos as an entirely separate species. The most bizarre example of this that I’ve heard thus far is, “You must never do a tango with an Eskimo.”
I don’t believe I’ve ever heard this song before. It lists different people who you CAN consider tangoing with, but clearly states that Eskimos are to be avoided. And just what might the reason be for that? Well, “if you do, you’ll get the breeze up, and you’ll end up with a freeze up…”
Okay. (All I can think is Doctor Who) So… Eskimos are now aliens with super powers that can freeze humans.
Then, a more popular song, The Christmas Song, “Folks dressed up like Eskimos…”
Ooo… So now we’re dressing like the aliens to keep them from freezing us to death. Good plan! That’s a sure fire way to create and spread some Christmas joy and warmth! Pretend to BE that aliens so they will never find us and freeze us. Oh, I see, so it’s more about preserving the warmth than creating it. Ah, got it!
But what if they’re hiding among us? I mean, after all, they must be if we feel the need to disguise ourselves as them in order to protect ourselves from their icy chill.
So remember, just when you think one of those friendly Eskimo dressed people would be the perfect one to snuggle in with for the winter, (I’m thinking Winter Wonderland type romance) watch out!
Don’t trust them. Don’t let them get inside your head. And most importantly, don’t tango with them… or else. (Hmm… Kinda like Santa, huh? But that’s another story for another day.)
The aliens are coming! AHHH!!