I’ve been doing a lot of thinking today. Walks and bus rides will do that to a person. At least if you’re a person like me.
I’ve thought a lot about life, and inconsequential things.
You see, I have a lot of fears. A lot of apprehensions. I don’t pretend that these things are good or that they help me in any way (okay, maybe in a small way at times).
I find it so easy to get wrapped up in… me. My thoughts, my life, my fears, my future.
I kind of want to end it there, but I know I must go on. Lately I’ve been feeling like something’s up, I don’t know what it is, but it’s been weighing on me.
I have some things coming up that I’m really quite terrified of, but they’re things that I need to learn to just get over. They’re not here today, they don’t really matter.
Could that be all there is? Or is there something else, something I’m missing? I don’t like the feeling, not one little bit. I don’t know how to change it or stop it, but I want to.
Sometimes I wish I could just turn it off. Maybe then I could be free enough to just live.
I know that wouldn’t do any good.
Sometimes I look at the world and wonder where the hope is. Everyone seems to worn out and weary. I don’t like it. I want to change it. Sometimes I feel so powerless in the face of it all, but then I think, maybe I can do something. Maybe I can make a difference.
I can be a light. If I’m a light, I can bring that light to brighten the darkness, even if only a little, even if only for a short time.
Our lives touch so many others. I can choose to hide away in fear, to cover myself so that only I can see the light without having to see the darkness, or I can choose to let the light be seen, to shine into the darkness.
We all have a choice. I know it isn’t easy at times. This life can be hard. I know at times we’re all a little weary. Let’s not give up right before we reach the top. When we’re weak, He is strong. We have to trust that. We have to keep believing that.
It isn’t just about hope, not a false hope, but a real one, genuine and true.
I don’t want to get too preachy here. I’ve just had a lot of thoughts today.
I’m tired of seeing the suffering. Yet I wonder if maybe it’s due to our human failing. Our selfishness. Our need to keep our light solely for ourselves.
Kindness goes a long way, it really does. The reverse is true as well. An unkind, rude, or even just inconsiderate comment or gesture can have such a negative impact on a person.
So why can’t we be a little better? Why can’t we help lift each other up, instead of tearing each other down?