So Many Thoughts

INFJoe
INFJoe

Lately I’ve been doing a TON of thinking. I’ve become more withdrawn and have allowed my thoughts to flow without trying to hold them back or restrict them. Because of this, I’ve also had a lot of realizations, subtle and not, and have re-learned some things about myself that I had previously forgotten.

Image Credit
Image Credit

I think that’s part of the reason I haven’t been posting as many actual posts here lately. I’ve had too many thoughts to put any of them down.

I like the world inside my mind, and I like who I am… Mostly. But there are also parts of me that I really don’t like so much, parts that I keep hidden from myself and the outside world. The outside is easy, but inside, that’s a different story. The only way to hide from myself is to suppress things that I’m naturally good at and naturally inclined to do.

Okay, that isn’t entirely true. As an INFJ, I tend to be far more in tune with how others are feeling than how I myself am. A prime example of this is the last visit I had with my family.

INFJ Doodles
INFJ Doodles

I was feeling really uneasy and anxious though I didn’t know why. I mentioned it to my mom. And, being as understanding as she is, she pointed out that maybe I was feeling her stress, rather than my own.

She was right, of course, because after she began to feel less stressed, my anxiousness went away too. I should have realized it on my own, but sometimes it’s hard to distinguish what is me and what is outside.

Image Credit
Image Credit

Self-awareness is such an important thing to me, yet sometimes I seem so bad at it. It sometimes takes me such a long time to realize things about myself that should have been obvious. It’s not that I’m blind in general, only with myself. It’s like there’s a barrier there that I can’t see behind. And I wonder why.

Why is it so easy for me to see others, and so difficult to see myself?

I think this adds to the feeling of isolation that so many INFJs experience, we’re so complex that we ourselves don’t understand us. If we can’t understand us, we who have all of the history and experience and background information on us, how could anyone else?

INFJoe
INFJoe

I have been very blessed in this regard. I have an INFJ brother who understands me better than I understand myself. He has helped me through so many things in life, and to gain insight and understanding where I would have been lost otherwise.

Anyway, those are some of the things that have been running through my mind lately. Have any of you experienced anything similar?

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12 thoughts on “So Many Thoughts

  1. As a fellow, INFJ, I can relate completely! What’s frustrating is when others have a hard time understanding me, and when I try to get them to understand me… I fail at it. So, oftentimes I feel misunderstood & I just isolate myself. But I can empathize with others extremely well, so not all is lost. In general, it’s hard for me to be surrounded by lots of people because it seems like I absorb the feelings both good and bad. (how draining!) My mind itself is chaotic, then adding other people’s feelings to the mix makes me want to go crazy sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know that crazy feeling! Feeling isolated and misunderstood is one of the most difficult things to deal with, especially when we try so hard and the words just don’t make any sense. Thank you so much for sharing your experience! Have a good one! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. More and more of us are ‘Feeling’ and when we look into those feelings often we are feeling other peoples emotions.
    The good thing is that you are recognising it..
    I know sometimes we just have to withdraw and take time out.. For me its either in Nature or I get lost in painting… or a project… Because thinking too much hurts! ❤

    Like

    1. Thinking absolutely can hurt at times. It’s wonderful to know yourself well enough to know what helps. Nature is always such a peaceful, wonderful place to be. I’m glad you have a creative outlet as well. For me it’s writing and photography, and it does so much good. 🙂 Thank you for sharing.

      Liked by 1 person

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