Sometimes I feel like the only one. Isolated and alone. There’s a difference between being alone and feeling alone. There are some days that come and it’s hard to imagine anyone else in the world understanding my perspective and where I’m coming from.
I try to speak and my thoughts are turned into a gargled mess when others alter my perception with their own. I know they’re just trying to understand, but sometimes that process makes me feel even more misunderstood. Something that I thought was obvious can make everyone else stare at me with confusion.
The blessing and curse of an INFJ: understanding, but not being understood.
If I’m being honest, though, I don’t always understand as well as I’d like to think I do. Sometimes I project my own views and perspectives onto others and expect them to feel the same. (I’ll write a post on that at some point in the future.) Then other times I just absorb everyone else’s emotions and I can’t distinguish them from my own.
Ignorance is bliss, and sometimes knowing more can make everything else seem so shallow and meaningless. There are specific situations at play here, it’s not just a general concept.
I don’t think I’m better than anyone else. I’m not. I know that. I just crave a depth and intimacy that most people don’t seem to understand. The disconnect seems really pronounced right now.
It’s one of those nights when I feel like the only one.