One Sided Me

Image Credit INFJoe
Image Credit INFJoe

I need to get used to people only seeing one side of me. I have many sides, but I typically only show one of them to others at a time.

Once my group identity is established, I tend to stick to it and keep the other aspects of my personality and who I am hidden.

This probably makes me seem pretty boring to most people. But hey, what else am I to do?

It’s not always a purposeful action. I guess sometimes it’s just easier that way. I want to be known, but I’m afraid to be seen. So I keep my distance and only show one side of myself. I suppose I figure it would make things too complicated to be fully me.

There are times when it really bothers me that I don’t have any place to be whole. I’m just a bunch of scattered pieces. If you ask one person who or what I am, they’d give an entirely different answer than another person. Though, I suppose my image is constant and consistent in a given group.

I have a few special and sacred relationships in which I am more fully me. I value those friendships more than anything. It’s so rare to let anyone see in, I guess I really value those who do.

I want to be complete, but I don’t really know how. I’m not trying to be dishonest or deceptive, but sometimes I feel like I am. Then I feel horrible about myself for being that way. Sometimes I’m just looking for a place to belong.

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19 thoughts on “One Sided Me

  1. Ha! Very cute cartoon. I suppose we are all rather complex. Women too, rather than being deceptive, tend to live in a world full of paradoxes. We are not being dishonest, we are simply more inclined to see things from two different perspectives.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What if you’re just adjusting to your surroundings?

    Who is the person that you’re adjusting to, when you’re not a whole? Why did you use that specific piece of you? Look around and ask yourself.

    What is the color of a chameleon? Is yellow more dishonest that green? Less real?

    I don’t think so.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love the chameleon analogy! Thank you for sharing that with me. 🙂 I have asked many of those questions, and I see why I only share a certain side, but I still want to have those relationships where I can be whole and complete. Thank you for commenting! 🙂

      Like

  3. Show one side> feels dishonest> you feel guilty. Show more than one side> others think you’re crazy/overwhelming> possibly lose friendships. It’s a difficult life we lead.

    I have 1 friend with whom I feel I can be mostly myself, and I am so very thankful for her!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. While reading this post I related to it so much. I feel like I change who I am depending on the personalities of whoever I’m with. Maybe it’s the different vibes or energies they give off that just affect us as INFJs, and I totally don’t see that as being dishonest, but rather as it being a natural occurrence for our personality type!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree. The different vibes others give off make a huge difference in who we are with them. I don’t always feel like it’s dishonest, I just have my moments where I realize how much of myself I’ve closed off. I find it interesting that other INFJ’s have experienced the same. Thank you for sharing! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I completely relate to all of this. Most people only get to see one side of me. But even though its only one part of me, its still me. I’m not faking it, or pretending to be someone else. Its usually a matter of how much energy I have, and whether spending that energy is worth it. Introverts are also really good at reading people and adjusting themselves in order to make the other person feel more comfortable. So there’s that too 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly! I do generally see it as showing a genuine part of myself, but I’ve been accused of being deceptive for it in the past when that wasn’t how I meant it at all.

      Thank you for sharing your insights. I never thought about it in reference to my energy level, but that’s a really good point too!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah, I’ve been accused of being fake before. I guess to someone who is an open book, anyone who doesn’t act in the same way appears suspicious to them. I’m not sure haha.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. It’s so true that we tend to have a “social side” and then many other sides, as if our consciousness is this geometric shape of many dimensions…what I love about blogging is that we can share some of the sides that get neglected in our day to day lives.

    Liked by 1 person

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