Sometimes when we’re broken and weak it’s hard to find the motivation to go to God. I’m learning more and more just how important it is to be honest in my struggles. Sometimes it’s easier to shove them aside and pretend that they’re not there and act like everything’s okay, but God sees our hearts.
The truth is, God sees and knows it all anyway. We need to be willing to cry out to Him honestly, even when we’re angry with Him, or our life situation, we need to lay it all at the foot of the cross.
We’ll never know true freedom until we know the freedom of love in Christ. We need to mourn in order to be comforted.
I saw this article the other day on forgiveness. It’s not the generic, typical stuff that says to move on, forget and get over it. Trust again because you’re supposed to love. It was more than that, it encouraged us to be real.
I particularly loved this quote, “When people hurt us, God commands us to forgive, period. But that doesn’t always mean we reconcile with them. In fact, without repentance, complete reconciliation is unwise. …’Forgiveness involves a heart that cancels the debt but does not lend new money until repentance occurs.’”
It was exactly what I needed to hear.
After some abusive situations I’ve been so pulled by fear. It’s like there’s nothing left of me. And yet, there’s a part of me that’s been guilted into believing that I still have to give more, even though I have nothing left to give. But that’s not the truth, and that’s not love.
I feel like INFJ’s, maybe people in general, so often stay in a bad situation longer than we ought because we’re so torn between what’s right and what we “should” do. There’s always this part that wants to save and protect others so we let things slid until there’s nothing left of us. Then we break and cut ties and walk away.
I’ve been in therapy lately, it’s amazing how much that can change. I’m overwhelmed with the waves of emotions and pain that I’ve been suppressing for so long. It’s like I needed permission to feel. I doubted myself so much that I didn’t allow myself to feel the pain and loss.
Now, and I suppose always, I’m weak. I’m broken. I’m so thankful for a love that heals. I don’t need to hide these thoughts and feelings from God, I don’t have to do anything to earn His love, I automatically have it. I just have to be willing to ask.