Morning Tea And Morning Pages

teacup-1252115_640This morning was such a beautiful one. It’s a bit cooler out today, so I started by opening the windows. The breeze felt so nice. There’s something so refreshing about having the outside air float into my home.

Lately I’ve been doing morning pages when I first get up. But today I made a cup of tea first. Just that little bit of time made quite the difference in what I was able to say. I find my mind is streaming with thoughts first thing in the morning, when I’m still caught somewhere between dreams and reality, but give it a little bit of time, and it calms down. I still got two pages, but lesson learned. Do it first thing, no delays.

One thing I love about the pages is how much it teaches me about myself, and how it centers and prepares me for the rest of the day. I can write all those thoughts down and leave them there rather than having them subconsciously bouncing around in my head.

That being said, the tea was pretty good and was a relaxing part of my morning. This summer I’ve not been as regular with my tea drinking because of the heat, I’m thankful to have it back. 🙂

What are your morning routines? Have you ever done morning pages? I’d love to hear your experience with them. 🙂

Advertisements

Washed Clean

crayons-933521_640Who am I when the world turns black? When the world I’ve known has fallen to pieces, what is left of me? I’m not always living according to who I am. I want to, but I don’t. I suppose it’s like Paul said, “For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.”

I want to be more than this. I believe we were designed to be more than this. Sin entered the world and things fell apart, but we’re still here. God didn’t leave us alone or abandoned. He still let us live, even if the world is less than what He designed it to be.

We can take an expensive painting and scribble all over it with crayon. That doesn’t change what the painting is underneath. That’s kind of how we are. Maybe a little messier than we could have been, but still there, buried beneath the pain and our mistakes in life.

The good news is that God can heal. He carefully takes us in and washes all those marks away until we’re restored and made whole again. I am so thankful for God’s grace filled love.

Ups and downs will come and go, but God’s love will never change. How wonderful it is to rest in that knowledge, even when it doesn’t match exactly how I feel.

What are you thankful for today?

Retrieving Creativity

road-163518_640Creativity comes in all different forms, various types of visual art, writing, music, even gardening or making a meal. It’s all about creating something in a unique and personal way, with thought and purpose behind it, though sometimes it’s completely free-flowing and comes so fast we don’t even know what to do with it or what it represents. Our subconscious has a way of weaving things in that we don’t even realize, but when we recognize it, that’s a really cool feeling.

After I was diagnosed with PTSD writing was really set on the back burner for a while, at least, my novels were. I had just finished NaNoWriMo the month before, so I suppose it was good timing. I’ve continued freewriting, creative writing, and journaling, but that was about it. I’m starting to step back into the novels, dipping my toe in the stream. I don’t feel as attached or connected as I did before, and I’ve shifted to another creative focus.

Recently I’ve begun morning pages once again. Writing a couple pages every morning has cleared my mind and allowed me to be more productive on any creative focus I might have. But my heart isn’t as into writing novels as it used to be. Yet, these books, the stories and characters, deeply matter to me. I don’t want to leave them sitting on a hard drive, or locked away in a file on my computer. I want to set them free.

The past month or so has been really challenging, but it’s also pressed me forward and deeper into who I want to be. I’m regaining my creativity, and stepping back into the worlds that I’ve created.

I don’t know how long I’ll be able to stay engaged, but I want to give my characters the chance that they deserve.

Creativity is a journey, we’re never going to be in the exact same place twice. This is true for every moment of our lives, but creativity seems to change and morph and grow more quickly than other areas.

What is your experience with creative slumps? Or jumping back into creativity after it’s been a while?

God Is Faithful

God is so good. He places the perfect people and situations in our lives just when we need it most. That doesn’t mean that those lowest lows won’t come first, but God will always eventually pull us from the pit.

depression-1347544_640I had one heck of a week last week. Every single day something crazy happened and I got progressively more worn down to the point where I just couldn’t contain it anymore. I know it could have been much worse, and I’m so thankful that it wasn’t, but it still wore me out.

God uses even our messes for our good. My eyes have been opened to some poor life choices and areas in which I’m not living to my full potential, areas in which I’ve allowed others to take over and overwrite me and who I am.

I can’t say how much is going to change going forward, but I do know that God is faithful. And I see Him working in these situations.

He’s placed friends and people in my life as champions and supporters. They have shown so much love and understanding it just blows me away and there’s no doubt in my mind that God has allowed this in order to grow and mature me, to show me His love and to help me to trust.

We can’t control other people, we can hardly control ourselves. We don’t have control over everything that happens in life, but God does. He holds all of us, no matter where we my be, perfectly and completely in His love.