I’m one of those people who, call it naive or ignorant, thought I was fairly comfortable being my introvert self around others. “I don’t have an extrovert mask!” Yes. Yes I do. I do have one and I wear it a lot. It’s just that it’s so draining that I’m left silent.
It was easy to deceive myself because I’m so quiet in groups. I’m the person in the corner who never speaks unless spoken to, and even then I dash out of the conversation fairly quickly. (Yes, I have issues/problems.)
But then I was welcomed into a group of introverts. And the whole introduction thing went completely different than usual. I didn’t feel like I had to act or speak a certain way, I was just… Me. Now, I didn’t bare everything all at once, but I was certainly a lot more willing to be vulnerable than usual.
Then I realized what a blessing this blogging community really is. I have this safe place on the internet where I can go and share my thoughts and views, and whether anyone reads it or not, it’s the one consistent place in my life where I feel like I can just be me, regardless of what’s going on, though I don’t often use it to its full potential.
So thank you. Thank you everyone who has read my blog, who continues to follow along on my journey no matter how vague or repetitive I am. Thank you for accepting me for me, and encouraging me that who I am, introversion and all, is enough. Thank you for being that safe community where I don’t have to wear a mask, even if I’m unaware that I have one.
Isn’t it funny how we’re so much more in tune with others than we are with ourselves? I can tell when someone else is being inauthentic (at least in person) and yet when it comes to myself, I don’t even see my masks or know which ones I’m wearing. But how thankful and relieved I am when I find a group, or even a single person, who allows me to be who I am. And, as a side note, in these instances, I tend to talk a lot more. Ironic, isn’t it?
Do you have a place where you can just be yourself? Do you find that you talk more when you’re not wearing an extrovert mask?