Community

Lately I’ve been feeling the need for deeper community. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s being so far away from family, maybe it’s the shortage of friends nearby, I have an awesome community around me, but I’m left feeling like I need more, like I want deeper, closer, and more intimate connections. And with more people.

I’m fortunate enough to have a few good friends close by, but people are busy and living their own lives. I don’t expect everyone to drop what they’re doing to cater to me, not by a long shot, I tend to have trouble in the opposite direction where I’m afraid to even acknowledge my needs to myself. But I need deeper connections, connections that go beyond a simple hi and small talk.

I miss my group. I had one as a teen, and it’s taken some time, but I really miss having those friends there. Some have drifted apart, some are still close (though communication has decreased and distances are far).

Sometimes I’m left feeling so alone. I think this blog is the one place that I do more honestly and genuinely share my feelings and struggles. Why is it that in real life, in person with people we only kind of know, it can be so hard? Why don’t I take those friendships deeper? I find myself pushing them away, or at least keeping them at arms length.

Still, I want more. Whether I sabotage myself every step of the way or not, I do miss having a community with deeper connections, I miss having friends that are actively involved in my life, and I in theirs.

So what am I going to do about it? I don’t want to just live my life as if I am the victim. I still have the power to decide how I will react to those around me, and the situations and people that are already there, and I still have the power to decide to reach out beyond that group, even if it’s well beyond my comfort zone.

“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” – Tony Robbins

We’re nearing the halfway point of 2017. That really has me thinking about my goals and what I want from the rest of the year. I want to cultivate deeper friendships with those around me and surround myself with opportunities to meet new people and make new friends. Just thinking about it gives me some anxiety, but at the same time, it’s something that’s important to me.

A year from now, I want to have a tighter knit and larger community of people around me. I want to take the risk to be vulnerable and open up. I want to give myself, and others, the opportunity to find meaningful connections. Who knows, maybe I’ll enjoy the process more than I expect.

Do you struggle to find a community where you feel you belong? Do you have any goals for the second half of 2017? I’d love to hear your experience/plans in the comments. πŸ™‚

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12 thoughts on “Community

  1. Thank you for writing this. I actually had a meltdown today with this very issue of longing for community. I recently moved to a town with little connection, and though there is some, as an INFJ, I crave the deeper connections and belonging as well. I too used to have a group to belong to growing up, but as an adult, not so much because everyone goes their separate ways. It can be very lonely. You are not alone in that. Funny enough, I haven’t been on wordpress in a long time but did because of feeling off today. It is a good place to be real, and for things such as this, be reminded that you’re not the only one. πŸ™‚ This is a season, but will not last forever! Looking at the long-term picture beyond the present moment is helping a little bit for me, if you are looking for recommendations. But know you are not alone in your experience-wishing the best for you and hang in there!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aww… I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with the same feelings. Having a meltdown over it is completely understandable! It’s such a difficult place to be. You’re not alone in this either. ❀ Thank you for sharing your thoughts and advice and letting me know that this touched you. Looking ahead is such a good piece of wisdom. Nothing lasts forever but sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the present situation and the loneliness that comes with it. I hope and pray that you're able to find that community and place to belong with deeper connections someday soon!

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  2. I hear you and I know exactly what you mean😊 I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, reading and exploring over the last couple of years,, trying to work out what is missing and how to fill the gap. Currently I’m meditating, doing guided meditations for loving kindness and acceptance, trying to love myself instead of looking to others to give me what I need. I’m thinking that if I feel better about myself, others will feel better about me too, and if I feel better it will be easier to accept others and have better relationships with them. But I agree, there seem to be much more interesting people in the blogosphere!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. What an excellent way to look at it! Thank you for sharing. πŸ™‚ I’m definitely a strong believer that knowing and accepting ourselves can make a profound impact not only on our thoughts, but on the world around us. Thank you for reminding me of that.

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  3. I just found this great post and your blog. I recognise this so much! I’ve a lovely wife who I am very happy with but we don’t share the same taste in music or movies and I’m getting quite sad at always going to gigs or the cinema alone. I’m over a recent bout of depression (I hope) and I know the best way to be more resilient in future is to build a wider support network but it is so hard to find like minded people. I am desperate to do something about it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I completely agree. It’s harder to find that support group than we’d like sometimes. Depression’s tough no matter how many people you have, I’m glad you’ve been able to come through it and I hope you’re able to find that community and support network you need. And I’m so glad you have a wonderful wife, even if you don’t share all of the same interests. That can be so hard sometimes (I have some of the same with my husband), and yet it’s also what makes for a more dynamic and complimentary relationship. I think that’s where it’s good to have other people too. It would be a lot of pressure for one person to have to be everything for us.

      Thanks so much for stopping by! I love your art, btw, so unique and interesting. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

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