Sick Day

I’m home with a cold. Maybe this is my body’s way of saying I need to slow down. The past couple weeks have been busy and I haven’t gotten much sleep. I’ve found myself trying to do everything for everyone, and stressing myself out over projects that are due and I haven’t really started on.

I haven’t been very good about balancing my time with others and my needed introvert time alone. I’ve had too many meetings, then bailed on a few get togethers, and still felt like I haven’t had enough time.

As much as I hate being sick, I am thankful to have an excuse to slow down and take a break. And I finally get to do some reading I’ve been putting off. Teas, warm lemon water, soup… I even took a nap earlier, which I never do!

This is what life is like, sometimes we have to break down before we can get better. We can’t sweep things under the rug, because sooner or later they will catch up with us. It’s important to take care of ourselves and honor the things that God has given us, whether that’s physical, or emotional, or something else entirely. I’m glad to have that reminder today.

What are you up to on this Monday afternoon?

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Extroverting Thoughts And Feelings

I took a bike ride earlier. It was so beautiful and peaceful, seeing all the fall leaves scattered on the ground, slightly cooler weather, though summer’s still holding on. Being out in nature always makes me think, it’s a time where I reflect, analyze, and often talk to God. And It’s when I find myself to be the most thankful and grateful for all the wonderful things I have.

Our thoughts and minds aren’t always sufficient, though we’d like to think they are. So sometimes we need to process those thoughts and feelings with another. I suppose that’s why therapy can be so helpful, it forces us to extrovert our thoughts and feelings, to bring the things that have been lingering in darkness to light.

Speaking forces us to articulate the jumbled string of whatever it is that floats around in our head. Sometimes speaking it, and talking with someone else, can help untangle the mess of thoughts and feelings, and help us to understand not only ourselves, but also others.

I have an INFJ friend who is the same. I think it’s probably the extroverted feeling. Without it, tertiary loops are too easy to get into and we’re left spinning on our own with no clear way out.

In the case where another person is unavailable, I’ve also found journaling to be helpful, though there’s still something grounding about having another person to reflect things back and share their own thoughts and feelings too.

Do you find (even as an introvert) that talking with others can help bring clarity to your thoughts and feelings? I’d love to hear your experience with this.

Stand

A lot has happened over the course of the past few weeks. I feel shifts and changes, and I find myself more at peace than I often am. Things like this bring reassurance and a deep inner knowing that God is at work in my life and my heart.

As many of you know, I find myself struggling with anxiety quite often. I don’t want to be dictated by my fear. I don’t want my future defined by my limitations. I’ve realized just how much I often get in my own way. So often, I am what gets between me and God. Everything’s all about me, and my limited perspective, my own fears and insecurities.

I’m realizing that insecurity is not the same as humility. Quite the opposite, in fact. There have been more times I haven’t followed a prompting from God because I was so stuck on feeling unqualified than times that I was willing to trust despite not feeling ready. Who am I to say I’m incapable something if God calls me to it?

It reminds me of Moses, when he also didn’t feel like he was able to speak on behalf of God and His people. God is faithful to provide another… but sometimes, we’re called to be like Esther. God wants us, wholly and fully committed, am I willing? It isn’t about whether or not I feel able, He does the equipping. I can’t power through in my own strength. I’ve tried that, and failed.

I want to stand confident in Christ and confident in who God made me to be. I don’t want to waiver in my faith, I don’t want to be overcome by my doubting, I don’t want to sink beneath the waves. I feel Him preparing my heart and helping me to trust. I don’t have to fight this battle alone.

I stand strong and secure, not because of anything of my own doing, but because I stand with Him. I am not alone. And we are never alone, whether through the deepest seas or the driest desert, God is with us, and He is faithful. He makes our path straight, even when we’ve veered off course, and He calms the winds and the waves. I choose Him over my fear. I choose Him over everything. And He is always faithful.

Weekend Cleaning

A long weekend is an introvert’s dream. We haven’t had any extra outings or get togethers this weekend, we’ve spent some awesome time together and it’s been so nice to just relax! I’d say this is the best weekend we’ve had in a long time.

I’ve realized so many things lately. Like how much better I feel when I take care of myself, and when I actually get dressed (and in clothes that make me feel good about myself). I’ve been so thankful to see how far God has brought my husband and I in the past year. Sometimes it doesn’t seem/feel like much, but it really is.

This sprint we’re focusing on getting our life in order. This means eating healthier meals, exercising, and cleaning up around the house. I can’t even tell you how much of a relief it is to have a clean place to live.

Yesterday afternoon we cleared out a ton of clothing clutter and everything we have now fits in the closet! I’m so happy. I don’t quite have a capsule wardrobe (wanting to work towards it), though I did put spring/summer clothes away, and we even ended up with two large bags of clothing we’ll no longer wear to donate. What a weight lifted!

I can’t find my sweater though… So that’s the one thing that’s bugging me. Oh well, I’ll find it eventually. As long as I didn’t accidentally donate it…

How have you spent your long weekend?