I Am Not A Writer

I’ve come to the conclusion that I am not a writer. I used to think I was, I used to think that some part of me needed writing (and I do), but the way I approach it is very different than the way I think most “real” writers do. And I’m sick of pretending.

I free-write as a way of processing my feelings and venting my frustrations. Sometimes I have thoughts to share, yes. Though honestly, they’re not well thought out. My writing is almost always stream of consciousness. And maybe that’s a good thing, for me, but it doesn’t help the world or accomplish some grand vision of influence.

I write because I have to, and it’s a lonely experience sometimes, though it can also be completely liberating to just sit down in a room by myself and let whatever comes out onto a page. I love that blank page, it’s a place to explore.

Most of the time on this blog, I write because I have thoughts that are bouncing around in my head, and I just can’t get it out any other way. I write because I need to, not because I want to. And I think maybe that’s where I make the distinction.

I write because it’s relaxing and it helps me better understand myself and the world.

I hate editing. That’s why there are probably often typos in my posts or overly redundant phrases and round about ways of wording things. I don’t edit. And isn’t editing the majority of the writing process? If I’m not invested in the process, then how can I be considered worthy of the title?

These are my thoughts on myself, not a judgment on anyone else or their process. And being able to finally say, I am not a writer, it’s just not my priority, has been so incredibly freeing. I will still write because I need to write, but maybe I’m done putting a barrier in my way by insisting that I edit, pressuring myself, and therefore avoiding it entirely.

I don’t know, maybe I’m a writer but not an editor. Hmm… Thoughts? What’s your writing experience like?

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20 thoughts on “I Am Not A Writer

  1. “I write because I have to, and it’s a lonely experience…”

    LOL! That sounds like the very definition of a writer to me. I forget who said it, but “you just lean over the page and bleed,not because you want to,but because you have to.”

    Liked by 3 people

  2. You write therefore you are! Sounds to me that you have just decided to stop judging yourself and comparing yourself to some imaginary standard – which is great! Do what you love. I like to write for personal therapy, yes writing stuff down does seem to stop the rumination. I also like to write in the more traditional way, i.e. Writing a story that’s a pleasure for others to read- but I’m not getting very far with that just now! 😁 My blog is something different, just a way to connect with people with similar interests. Somehow writing is so much easier than talking. You get to finish a scentence without being interrupted. You can use a metaphor to explain exactly what you mean without people going ‘huh?’. On the written page I can almost be interesting. In real life I’m just a bit wierd😏☺️ You are a writer. You can take it where you like, and if you like to just do it for yourself, that’s great.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your encouragement! That’s such a wonderful way to look at it. Yes, it’s such a relief to stop the comparisons and pressure to measure up. I love your perspective and clear reasoning for each of your projects. I’d love to read a story if you ever decide to write one. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you! Sadly I keep thinking when I have time…. I don’t know if I would have the courage to risk giving up a well paid job that is good enough in order to live a dream that might not work out…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I completely understand! And writing can definitely be a tough thing to break into.

        Have you ever heard of the book 168 Hours? I read it recently and it was really interesting to look at how we spend our time. (It’s actually partially responsible for this post.)

        Liked by 1 person

      3. No but I will look for it, thank you! I do now set myself the target of 8hrs sleep per night. Add a basic 45 hrs at work, and 7 hours commuting, I still have 62 hours left …..! It must be worth a look!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Yes, I really value my time! And recently I have learned that sometimes it is better to take time out to sit and stare out of the window, resting my brain and psyche, than to keep on going!

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I agree! And those moments can be so refreshing and can give our minds the break they need to use the rest of our time more efficiently. I’m glad you’re learning how to take the rest you need. It can definitely be hard to prioritize it sometimes.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Honestly I feel the exact same way. Sometimes I look at other people’s work and feel like absolute crap. But it is what it is.
    But you know at the end of the day, if one person feels connected to your writing, you’ve made a difference and you’ve accomplished that which makes you a “good writer”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s an awesome way to look at it. It’s so easy to fall into the comparison trap and start to pressure ourselves for not measuring up to those ideals. Thank you for stopping by and relating. ❀

      Like

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