As an INFJ my dominant cognitive function is Ni, which means I’m a dominant perceiver despite being a J type. (This is true for all introverts, the dominant function is the opposite of the J/P preference in their type.)
I’m not overly attached to every idea that floats through my head, I just like ideas, though sometimes I feel like I can come across as much more rigid when interacting with other people and the outside world. Even writing falls prey to this tendency, which I think is why I struggle with it so much sometimes.
Sometimes I feel so guilty for how harsh or certain I come across to others. As if my ideas are more important than theirs, but really I’m just excited about ideas and different possibilities.
I don’t want to be dismissive of others. I don’t know when I’m overstepping boundaries, and when I’m not pulling my own weight. And this leaves me feeling more misunderstood, and also very insecure about my roles. That could be a communication issue too, but still. I don’t want to be a steamroller, and I’m beginning to realize that I might be.
And because of my auxiliary Fe, I feel more in tune with others’ emotions than my own, so I beat myself up over my interactions, then I’m left confused and spinning wondering what my true motivation actually is. Misunderstood by myself too.
People pleasing has been a huge obstacle for me to overcome. I don’t really know how to say no. I have a couple times now, and I’ve felt really bad about it, and like I was letting someone down.
So maybe this isn’t about the dominant, but the auxiliary, the way I interact with others. I’ve fallen into some really dysfunctional patterns, and I think that I’ve probably gone from one extreme, to overcompensating on the other.
I’m still not sure how clear my vision is on this. I still have a lot to process, and a lot to learn.