Ice Breakers. Who Am I?

Earlier today I was reading through ice breaker questions because… Well, that’s a long story that’s entirely beside the point.

As I was reading, I just felt more and more defeated. Most of the time I didn’t have one particular answer, and with the either or questions, I’d say both for different reasons, or in different contexts.

Or neither.

“It depends.” My standard stock response… But that doesn’t work well when you’re trying to let other people get to know you.

Anyone else feel like icebreakers are just an extension of small talk?

They’re just a little more formulaic, with just a little bit more pressure to preform and have a solid and definitive answer.

But you know what?

I don’t.

And I could mostly be okay with that, aside from the separation it causes between me and other people. I don’t want division, I want connection.

Over and over in my mind, the same question echoed through with each ice breaker question I read.

Who am I?

And why can’t I just be simple? Do I just not know myself? Why do we all have to fit into a box of having one all encompassing answer that fits into every situation, every context, every moment.

Maybe I’m making it complicated. Maybe it’s okay to just choose something, anything. Maybe it’s okay to have multiple answers. But I’ve seen the response when I don’t just keep that to myself. People get bored. And then they don’t even try to get to know me, because it’s like I don’t even know myself.

Who am I?

That is the question I will always be asking. It’s a journey taken one step at a time, one day at a time, one moment at a time. But sometimes I wish the world inside my mind was just a little less complicated. (Though not really, I wouldn’t want to be bored.)

Maybe I’ll always be left walking the frozen tundra alone. Always on the outside. Navigating the ice caps that others seem to breeze over.

Maybe I know myself less, or maybe I know myself more. I don’t know the answer any better than I know the answer to those awful little questions that seem to cause such a huge internal storm.

How do you feel about ice breakers? Do you have a hard time coming up with a single answer?