Sometimes we don’t realize just how much we have. There are times we feel empty, and there are times we are filled. The thing I’ve noticed though, is whether we are full or empty, it’s always for a reason. Sometimes it’s easier to trust this than others, but it’s seemed particularly true lately.

I’ve been emptied out, so that I can understand and show compassion to others.

I’ve been filled, so that I can pour out those same blessings into others. We comfort with the comfort we have been given, and I am so thankful for this truth.

I don’t always understand the ups and downs in life, but I do know that God is faithful. We can share more fully in joys and sorrows when we ourselves have been there. And God knows this, and He allows this. He is always faithful, and He will redeem everything, whether we are full, or empty.

What truths are you trusting today?


Known In The Unknown

I’ve been thinking about life a lot lately. I’ve done evaluating and re-evaluating of who I am, what I am, and where I’m going.

It all seems like such a blur sometimes, but there is such beauty and power in the unknown.

We sometimes face the unknown with fear and doubt, but maybe we need to see it as an opportunity.

We don’t know where any of this will lead. We can make our plans, but our plans don’t always go, well, as planned.

There is a God who knows us even when we don’t know what our futures hold. We are His children, and He is a faithful Father.

The beauty of this life is finding joy even amidst the struggles, even in the storms, we can look to the sky and say, “God, You’ve got this, and I’m trusting You.”

Quiet Mornings

I love routines. Lately I’ve gotten in the habit of waking up and having some quiet time alone with God and my thoughts, writing, reading, getting myself focused for the day. I’ve been so productive!

Then the weekend came. My husband was off for the day, so we slept in, then spent the morning together talking and planning. I ended up having some time to myself after all that, but it just wasn’t the same and my day felt so rushed and chaotic.

Could it really be that important for me to start my day alone?

I’m thinking that it is. I love the still and quiet of the early morning, alone with me, allowing my mind to flow where it will, no pressure, only gentle guidance.

I’m learning a lot about myself, mostly because I’m taking the time to listen. Do you have any important morning routines? I’d love to hear how you start the day. 🙂


I’ve come to the conclusion that people like to talk about themselves, not because we’re all self-absorbed and narcissistic, but because we speak about what we know. We’re always told to write what we know, so what’s the difference when we’re talking?

I think we’re reaching out, looking for a connecting point, and sometimes it’s easier to fill the silence with something we know and find interesting, hoping to connect on something meaningful to us, rather than talking about something shallow and superficial like the weather.

This puts things in a different context. Maybe when people seem to be obsessing about themselves, their lives, or their interests, it isn’t because they’re trying to steamroll and hijack the conversation, it’s because they’re insecure and desperate for some form of more satisfying human contact… And they don’t know where else to start.

Speaking to strangers can be intimidating, especially when you know nothing about that person, what they’re like, or what they like. So maybe we need to be slower to judge, and more quick to listen.



I’m realizing more and more just how much of an introvert I actually am. I struggle between being happy that I know this about myself, and being absolutely frustrated at the implications of it.

I can only handle so much socialization before I feel so drained I can hardly function. Sometimes it’s almost a dream state, where I detach from reality while being pelted by all the outside stimulation that keeps my mind occupied and distracted from useful thought.

Of course, this could be because of my inferior Se… I’ve noticed I’m not so observant lately. Not as much as I’d like to be. Sure, I catch things after awhile… Sometimes, but not always.

Then of course there are the moments that I miss something entirely without realizing it until much later, later when it’s too late to fix it and make amends.

Ah, well. Such is life.

I can’t say I mind, really. During a recent visit home, it was interesting to see the difference between me and my extroverted mother. I love my mom, she’s great, but we are very different.

At one point, I was sitting down using my laptop, and she asked me how I was doing being alone, saying that she felt bad and would feel ignored and a little bothered to not be spending time with everyone. She did however ask if I liked the time alone, or if I felt the same way she would.

It was such an interesting thing. I was enjoying the down time. I love my family, but people are people, no matter how much you love them. Sometimes I enjoy just being alone in my shell.

Free Flow

Blogging is my solace from the storm. Actually, writing down the thoughts that swirl through my mind always brings some form of comfort. It gives me some form of stability, it’s grounding, and I can focus all my attention on one drifty flow rather than being caught up in the chaos around me.

Sometimes resisting takes more energy than allowing. We try so hard to keep it all bottled up, to hold all the hard things back, but it’s like a pressure cooker, and eventually it explodes. We might not mean for it to, we like to think we can control it. And we can, up to a point, and then, one way or another, all of the bottled up thoughts and feelings will explode, sometimes surprising us just as much (or even more) as those around us.

I’d like to be a patient person. Some say I am, but I’m not. Then again, those people also say I hold myself to too high of standards, it’s probably true. Perfectionism dies hard, and it’s hard to let go of the one thing that makes me feel like my life is under control.

I’m learning to release my grip, slowly and surely. I’ve clung to the wrong things, and let go of things that I’ve needed. I’ve drifted away with my need to manage it all, to maintain some level of peace and composure, all the while becoming more and more restless inside. Writing helps. I can freely drift from one thought to another. Letting go, not fully holding on, but releasing control and going along with the flow of words that comes streaming out.

Here, it doesn’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to be perfect. I can just let out whatever comes, and release it into the waves. They wash over me, but no longer claim me.

Will I ever find the place where I belong? I’m confident that someday, the answer is yes, but until then, I drift, not in the void, but in the fullness of grace, that steadily guides me to where I’m always meant to be.

From The Fog

One thought turns to another and soon we’re spiraling and crippled by doubt. I don’t want to live in fear anymore. I’ve recently taken a stand in some things that I was previously completely destroyed by and caught up in. We often underestimate the power relationships have over us, but it was relationships that destroyed me, and relationships that saved me.

I’ve been clinging to the wrong things thinking that they could save me, but in the end, I’m still responsible for me, and they’re responsible for them. I can’t do anything to change that. But I do need to stop taking responsibility for things I shouldn’t and start taking responsibility for the things I should.

I’ve felt trapped, like I didn’t have a choice. And I don’t even know why. I look at it and see how messed up the situation’s been. I don’t see any way that anyone could justify it, and yet, I have, and I still continue to sometimes. I’m not bound by it anymore, but I’m still tempted to go back sometimes.

I think that’s what bothers me most. I see the truth, and yet, in this, I don’t know how to live by it. I don’t live according to my values in this one area, and it tears me apart. I’ll learn eventually. I know I will. It’s the in between time that’s the most challenging.

Someday I hope to look back on this with gratitude, because this has changed who I am. How I view myself and how I view others. There’s been a lot of negative, but I’m starting to see the positive. It’s in the deepest depths that we begin to grow.