It’s been a few months. And here we are, at the beginning of December, a new year, a new decade, just around the corner.
There’s some deep internal work God’s been doing in me over the past few months. At the moment I’m feeling more peace than I have in a long time, I’ve even felt joy, and I’m beginning to hope again.
It’s a strange feeling when everything in your world comes crashing down. Sometimes it comes down with a bang, sometimes it’s more subtle than that, but the ripple effects spread throughout every aspect of life.
I’m dabbling in new forms of art again. Trying to get back into writing. I’ve done a lot of journaling over the past few months, I’ve needed it desperately. And I’m so thankful to have the ability to just sit down and write and dump my thoughts and feelings on a page.
Christmas is coming, and I’m feeling excited again. There’s some apprehension with some storms I know could be coming, but I’m also feeling more stable and (hopefully) more braced for it this time.
A lot has changed this year. I haven’t fully unpacked it yet. I tend to get reflective at the end of a year. Reflecting on the past year, planning for the new. I’m not sure yet what my word for this coming year will be, or my primary goal. But I’m praying about it and have a few ideas floating around.
But every time I look back, I’m amazed at God’s faithfulness. He is so faithful to provide, to work things out, to turn things around for our good, even when we can’t see it caught in the moment.
This year has brought some really hard things, but it’s also brought good things, and with them both, clarity.
I want more clarity as I continue forward. I know that creating in some form is connected to this, I’m not fully sure how yet or what form it will take.
As I look back on this past year, I’m amazed at how far God has brought me and the work He’s done. I’m shocked in some ways to think that the beginning of this year was actually this year. It feels so far away.
Yet time passes so fast.
There’s hope for the future in a way I didn’t have before. It isn’t so much about situations changing, though it’s ever shifting, but about God strengthening me and my roots in Him through the storms. I don’t say this as if I had anything to do with it, it’s His work in me, because I couldn’t on my own.
So often I’ve felt helpless and drowning. Sometimes those seasons in the desert last far longer than we would like, but God is still faithful to lead us through to the other side.
Right now I’m just taking things one step at a time. Learning to be present. Learning to release my control.
What are your reflections on this previous year? How are you feeling about the coming of 2020? It feels a little too much like the future to me, but I’m thankful for the opportunity to be here. I’m thankful for a new chance to start again.