Organization

I love organized days. There’s something so satisfying and fulfilling about having a plan with allotted time for both necessary and and enjoyable activities. I’ve felt so overwhelmed lately with everything that’s been piling up on my plate. I haven’t done any of them well because I’ve been so torn between tasks that I’m caught in an eternal jumping from one to the next without making any progress in any one area. Today, that changes.

There are about 20 weeks left in the year. If I dedicate 2-3 weeks on specifically focused tasks, I’d be able to complete 7-10 larger things by the end of the year. That gives me hope. Maybe my goals aren’t totally unreachable. I just need to be willing to be dedicated and diligent to commit to getting things done.

I’m currently working on a list of what I want those “things” to be. Some are larger than others, some have strict deadlines that are creeping up on me faster than I can even think about them. But maybe it will work. If nothing else, it’s worth a try? I’m excited to try this new method!

Time

Time passes so quickly. It seems that one month races into another faster than I can even catch a good glance at it. We have five months left in the year. What are we going to do with it?

This past week has been filled with ups and downs, but there’s a calmness and certainty there that isn’t always. Some things have happened that would normally send me spinning into fear and anxiety, but this time, it made me think, and I just found myself being so thankful and grateful for how far God has brought me in the past year.

Time passes so slowly when we’re living in the day to day struggles. It’s easy to lose sight of how things are changing around us, until we look back, that is when we see how far we’ve really come, even when it feels we’ve only been treading water, just trying to stay alive.

God is faithful. Through it all, He will always be faithful.

Today’s Happenings

Ah, another lovely rainy day. 🙂 It feels like it’s been a long time since we’ve had one, it’s been quite dry lately. I love days like this. And, fortunately, this Monday is a bit more low-key than last week.

It’s much cooler too, which is nice. I think I’m going to spend the rest of the day doing some baking and housework. I neglect the housework  way more often than I ought too. I just always seem to have so many more “important” things to do. Ironically, I hate clutter, so it really doesn’t help much.

What are you up to on this Monday?

Busy Days

Busy weekends come and take our quiet worlds to storm. Even the anticipation can be draining. As an introvert, I deeply value my alone time. I enjoy quiet evenings alone at home, often with an even mix of time to myself and time spent with my husband. This is a time I need to rest, relax, and rejuvenate for the following day (or week) ahead, or just recover from a long and exhausting day.

When I don’t get that time, I really don’t like who I become. I try to control it, but I have a tendency to get really easily frazzled. An ounce of prevention…

People are overwhelming. I like people for the most part, but tell me I have to spend a whole day straight with them, or an entire weekend surrounded by others, and it’s just too much for my system to handle. Being an HSP might play into this more than being an introvert does, but they play off of each other so perfectly, concocting the perfect internal storm of heightened emotion and absolute exhaustion.

I’m also the type to feel my introversion physically, which often means being completely ready for bed by the time 5 o’clock rolls around (if the day has been spent with other humans).

Sometimes I’m frustrated by my introversion and HSP tendencies. And then other times I just need a gentle reminder that it’s okay to step back and take a break, even if only for a moment. We need to honor our own needs if we ever want to be the best that we can be for others. There’s nothing selfish about taking a break to recharge our batteries.

There can be something beautiful in the storm when we’re willing to listen. What needs do we have? Sometimes we spend so much time trying to take care of others before even thinking of ourselves, that we don’t even know what needs we have. How can we care for ourselves if we don’t even know ourselves? This is a lesson I’m learning.

Do you feel overwhelmed with too much social interaction? I find it helps to step away, even if only for a moment to be alone and catch my breath. What do you find helps the most on busy days?

Rainy Day

It’s a lovely rainy day today. Previous plans have been cancelled, so now I have a cozy day to myself. I’d like to get some reading in, I’ve neglected that so terribly over the past few months, I’ll also probably make some soup in a bit.

I love the little breaks in summer with cooler and more snugly weather.

Maybe I’ll do some writing. I’ve neglected that one too. Why is it that words jumble in our minds, unable to escape or absorb? It seems like whenever I’m overwhelmed, words are some of the first things to go. Does anyone else experience this?

What are your plans for this lovely Friday?

Halfway Through 2017

We’re now officially halfway through 2017. I’m so thankful that it falls on a weekend. I’ve spent the morning planning as a continuation of last night, and it just made me realize how absolutely relaxing that can be. I’m feeling lighter and like a weight has been lifted. It’s so good to have plans on paper!

I think it’s good to have these mile markers to check in and see where we’re at, how we’re progressing, and what needs to change moving forward. I’ve found bullet journaling to be extremely helpful in that regard. We’re always moving forward whether we plan for it or not, and it’s so nice to have a path in mind, whether or not it needs to change along the way.

Unexpected things happen, plans change, how do we approach those changes? Do we see them as challenges to defeat us, or challenges to overcome?

My word(s) for this year is Fearless Hope. I’m feeling more confident and hopeful as I head into this second half of the year with more intentionality than the first. I’ve approached life in a kind of haphazard way at times, but it isn’t me, and I’m left spinning in uncertainty when I do, paralyzed by the directionlessness. I’m so thankful to have this weekend as a reset.

Do you enjoy planning? What methods do you find work best for you?

Community

Lately I’ve been feeling the need for deeper community. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s being so far away from family, maybe it’s the shortage of friends nearby, I have an awesome community around me, but I’m left feeling like I need more, like I want deeper, closer, and more intimate connections. And with more people.

I’m fortunate enough to have a few good friends close by, but people are busy and living their own lives. I don’t expect everyone to drop what they’re doing to cater to me, not by a long shot, I tend to have trouble in the opposite direction where I’m afraid to even acknowledge my needs to myself. But I need deeper connections, connections that go beyond a simple hi and small talk.

I miss my group. I had one as a teen, and it’s taken some time, but I really miss having those friends there. Some have drifted apart, some are still close (though communication has decreased and distances are far).

Sometimes I’m left feeling so alone. I think this blog is the one place that I do more honestly and genuinely share my feelings and struggles. Why is it that in real life, in person with people we only kind of know, it can be so hard? Why don’t I take those friendships deeper? I find myself pushing them away, or at least keeping them at arms length.

Still, I want more. Whether I sabotage myself every step of the way or not, I do miss having a community with deeper connections, I miss having friends that are actively involved in my life, and I in theirs.

So what am I going to do about it? I don’t want to just live my life as if I am the victim. I still have the power to decide how I will react to those around me, and the situations and people that are already there, and I still have the power to decide to reach out beyond that group, even if it’s well beyond my comfort zone.

“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” – Tony Robbins

We’re nearing the halfway point of 2017. That really has me thinking about my goals and what I want from the rest of the year. I want to cultivate deeper friendships with those around me and surround myself with opportunities to meet new people and make new friends. Just thinking about it gives me some anxiety, but at the same time, it’s something that’s important to me.

A year from now, I want to have a tighter knit and larger community of people around me. I want to take the risk to be vulnerable and open up. I want to give myself, and others, the opportunity to find meaningful connections. Who knows, maybe I’ll enjoy the process more than I expect.

Do you struggle to find a community where you feel you belong? Do you have any goals for the second half of 2017? I’d love to hear your experience/plans in the comments. 🙂