The Switch

I have something coming up that I’m really nervous about. When I’m under a lot of stress I do one of two things: withdraw and turn in to myself, or become really needy, clingy, and Se driven in attempt to avoid it. So, tertiary loops or in the grip of my inferior.

I wish I could guide the switch and choose which one I revert to. It would be so helpful when under a stressful situation to choose the dysfunctional mode which would be the most beneficial and fitting for the situation.

I believe I’ve shadowed once. It was the most liberating experience. Granted, it was in response to extreme, long-lasting stress, and my brain just decided it had had enough.

If I could control which switch was flipped, I would. I haven’t learned that much about myself yet, and maybe I’m just immature. But again, it comes down to wanting control rather than taking things as they come. Sometimes, the best thing to do is sit back and trust that everything will be okay. It’s not always about what happens to us, but rather about how we respond to those things.

We can respond or react. Responding is well thought out, reacting is based on an impulse which usually doesn’t line up with what we would normally do or want.

Different personality functions can contribute to each response or reaction, it would just be nice to have some say in which one comes out at a given time.

A Little Loopy

Today I want to focus a little on tertiary loops. Those familiar with MBTI may have some idea of what I mean, but I’ll give a brief description anyway.

Each MBTI type has their own function stack. I’m primarily going to be addressing my personal experience here, so for the purpose of this post, as an INFJ, my function stack is Ni-Fe-Ti-Se.

Tertiary loops happen when a person relies too much on their preferred orientation (Introvert/Extrovert). Sometimes this is stress, sometimes it’s need. It really depends. It can be a beneficial state at times, but it can also be very damaging if we stay in the loop for too long.

As an introvert, my tertiary loop is extreme introversion in which I turn in on myself. My Ni and Ti feed off of one another, though usually not in a productive manner.

For example, when I’m in a loop I I close in on myself; I tend to cut myself off from people, even those I’m close to (removal of Fe). I get extremely self-deprecating/critical with so many self-defeating thoughts. I also get very impatient and irritable, especially if someone interrupts me. And I begin to see people as systems rather than humans. I can be very cold and unfriendly or even judgmental.

Because of the self-deprecating, and the fact that I know I DO care about people, I can start to feel pretty depressed. It’s like I turn into a black hole, destroying myself form the inside out, and there’s nothing left in me.

Now, there’s another side of it too, although it is far less common. I have times where the Ni-Ti loop will help tremendously with my writing. If there’s something I really need to figure out about the world or if I’m really stuck on a problem, Ni and Ti working together can give me a solution I wouldn’t have thought of otherwise.

This just goes to show how important balance is in our lives. Without the proper balance of our individual cognitive functions, we can get ourselves into some pretty sticky situations. But with a little understanding for what’s going on, we can manage to climb out, and who knows, maybe we’ll even use it for good.

How We Handle Stress

During stressful times in life you’ve probably noticed that you revert back to a few specific patterns. Each type has a unique stress response related to the inferior function. For me, that inferior just happens to be Se.

My Se comes out at the strangest of times. I often can’t focus on any one task for more than a few minutes, I jump around from project to project, become a total penny-pincher budgeting and worrying about going broke, spending far more than I ought to. Cleaning frantically, or being messy and overwhelmed by the chaos of a messy environment.

I also start to feel really sad that I don’t do more crazy things in life, have interesting stories of adventure, travel more, do spontaneous things. I become bitter and resentful and saddened at the apparent lack of sparkle in my life.

I also strive really hard to be perfect, beat myself up for my appearance, fixate on food (one extreme or the other, overindulgence or starving myself). It’s not healthy. And I know that. Knowing the why behind what I do helps in overcoming it. Though it also removes the outlet with which I need to escape the stress.

It isn’t all bad though. Sometimes I can use my Se in a healthy way. For me it manifests itself in photography, enjoying nature, and cooking or baking.

The important thing is that we recognize any dysfunctional behavior and where it comes from, then we can alter the way it comes out in our lives and personalities.

The Escape

Fear is a big struggle for me. I find it hard to trust God sometimes when this life doesn’t make sense. Sometimes it’s hard to remember God’s promise to be faithful. Sometimes the weight of this world seems like it’s more than we can bear, and yet, here we are.

We don’t always see the way out, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. God is our protector, all we have to do is trust in Him. It doesn’t mean anything will be easy, we still have to climb, what it does mean is that nothing is impossible with God.

We have to live in alignment with God’s will and come under it for His blanket of protection, but He is faithful and promises that if we put our trust in Him, that He will work all things together for our good.

We can grow through the storms. It isn’t always easy. But we do have hope. When we are weak, He is strong.

Bullet Journal

I found the bullet journal last month. That very night I went out and bought a graph journal, and some lovely pens, and I’ve been using the bullet journal system ever since. It was exactly what I needed!

It is so simple and straightforward, and is an excellent way to keep my life organized.

I need a bit more planning ahead than the original journal gave, but that’s what’s so great about it, we can customize it to be exactly what we need.

In mine I have the calendar just like they do, a monthly to-do, with the following month on the bottom corner, a weekly to-do (each about a page), then the dailies.

This system allows me to keep everything all in one place, even when I have a random thought or inspiration, and it also encourages me to keep track of my days and what I’ve done in each.

I used to have papers scattered everywhere with different tasks and things I needed to remember, now they’ve all been condensed into a single journal. It is so much more efficient; now I’m not constantly losing things and having to rewrite them. My other solution was to keep everything on One Note or something of the sort, which meant I had to turn the computer on to find my lists… And usually get distracted. Talk about inefficiency!

If you’re struggling with keeping things organized, I’d definitely suggest trying a bullet journal. It’s perfect!

A Gift In The Rain

Today is one of those days where you sit back and realize just how wonderful and peaceful this life can really be.

I’ve been realizing lately that I don’t really take time for myself or to relax. I’ve claimed that I’d work on it, yet I somehow never seem to make it a priority.

Today is different. I’m tempted to jump in and work on one of the many projects I have waiting for me, but it’s time to take a break and breathe. I’m thankful for the break the rain has reminded me I need.

 

*Image found on Pexels.com

Face Your Soul

In The Broken

Sometimes it’s easy to feel rejected, unloved, abandoned. In those moments God reaches down and meets us where we’re at.

The world’s rejection does not imply God’s rejection. The world’s love cannot ever equal God’s love. His love is so vast, so deep, we can’t really understand it.

We don’t always understand Him, or each other, or even ourselves for that matter, but God understands us. God loves us. Are we willing to accept His love and redemption even when we don’t understand it?

Sometimes we need to be broken in order to be made whole. Sometimes there are pieces of the puzzle that just don’t fit in to our limited view, so we need to be changed to make room for all that God has planned for us.

I don’t understand the storms. But I’m learning how to sail. We need to work with the wind that we’ve been given, not the one we wish we had. So often that means relinquishing control. The acceptance of that is well worth it.

The storms are where we learn to trust.

Do Not Lose Heart ~

Really needed to read this today.

CHRISTian poetry ~ by deborah ann

Do not lose heart,
do not give up today
ask God to bring renewal
into your life, straight away.

Do not lose focus,
keep Jesus in your sight
do not pull yourself from
the truth found in His light.

Do not lose trust,
do not stop believing
soon answered prayers . . .
you will start receiving.

Do not lose hope,
keep your mind centered
on the grace Jesus brought
when in your life, He entered.

Do not  lose heart,
do not faint away . . .
ask God to be renewed
right here, right now, today!

~~~~~~~~~~~

2 Corinthians 4:16

” For which cause we faint not;
but though our outward man perish,
yet the inward man is renewed day by day.”

King James Version
by Public Domain

Copyright 2015
Deborah Ann Belka

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Summer Nights

I’m so thankful for evening walks and the cooler summer’s night air. It’s nights like this that I feel inspired and full of hope. I even saw a shooting star!

I hope you’re all having a lovely night. 🙂