The Dress And All Its Glory

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I don’t know about you, but I think it’s purple. And, I’ll go even farther to say that it isn’t a cat at all, it’s actually (and obviously) a dog. There’s just no question. It’s a purple dog. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.

I am shocked at how many people are still talking about some random person’s dress… three days after they posted it. Really? Our lives have really been reduced to arguing over the color of someone else’s wardrobe, a stranger, no less? Do we really have nothing else to think about?

I think it’s sad that people are so desperate to be a part of something that they obsess over something so… Inconsequential. Does it really matter?

I just feel like this shows the insecurity of most of us as humans. We have purpose and potential, and our time should be more valuable than fighting over a stranger’s dress.

It shows our greater need to be a part of something bigger than ourselves, a perfectly reasonable and valid need. I just think it’s sad that we don’t feel that connection to ourselves or others except in the context of a petty internet argument.

It’s been three days now that I’ve seen that dress clogging my news feed. Let it go.

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To Find Your Heart

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Storms In Life

I’ve had a pretty rough day today. It’s really gotten me thinking about my life and where I am in it… And where I want to be. If I’m being honest, I’m not entirely happy with who or what I currently am.

Sometimes, admitting our shortcomings can be painful, but if we never acknowledge them, we’ll never know how to fix them. Like a broken leg that hasn’t set right, it will “heal” wrong and we’ll be left with the pain of it forever.

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Unless of course it’s re-broken. Maybe, when it feels like we’re facing one storm after another, that’s what’s happening. We have to be broken in a certain way so that we can heal in the very particular way necessary. Maybe the repeated storms are actually a blessing in disguise. It’s just hard to see that at the time.

Sometimes we’re kept safe up on the shore, but we feel as though we’re slipping further away, faster by the minute.

I took today as an opportunity to really sit down and try to figure out what it is I feel like I’m missing. I compiled a very interesting list that I hope will help me in figuring it all out. I think life is always a process of learning and growing. So I’m sure there will always be new things to learn and figure out, but I’m taking it one step at a time.

If anyone else is in a similar place, I want you to know that there is hope. It may not seem like it yet, but there will be better days. And for everyone who has been there for someone when they needed it most, thank you. I really and truly cannot express how valuable your love is.

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Time Flies

It’s amazing how quickly an evening can pass while taken up in conversation. Sometimes those conversations are long and arduous, sometimes more calm and pleasant.

I get so overwhelmed sometimes when I realize how quickly the day has gone by, but at the end of the day, I still need to be thankful for all that has been gained.

I hope you all have a good night!

Freedom

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Journal

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I got a new journal the other day, and it’s amazing to me how fast I’m wanting to fill it. It’s like a whole new world has been opened up before me on the blank pages.

I had forgotten how good it feels to have an actual journal dedicated to my thoughts and events in my life. For awhile now, I’ve just been using a notebook or even typing on the computer. It isn’t quite the same.

I love the feel when the pen touches the page. The only thing about it is that my thoughts go faster than I can keep up with.

I suppose I’ve been in a very contemplative place lately. There are so many thoughts and realizations, though I’m never entirely sure how to put them all into words. I think having an actual journal is beginning to help with that.

How about you, do you journal? If so, do you notice a difference depending upon where you’re writing? I’d love to hear from you.

Prayer

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I’ve really struggled with this throughout my life. I think, as humans, we need the personal reaction when so often it feels as though God is silent. But prayer is so important. So is trust.

We need to trust God that He’s working in the background on all the details, even when we can’t see it. God is a personal God. Do we believe that?

He cares about our struggles, our joys and our sorrows. We are never forgotten. And So I ask this question of you, as much as I ask it of me. “Have you prayed about it as much as you have talked about it?”

Snow

I just came in from a blissful walk in the snow. It’s so wonderful to see the little flakes falling down so peacefully. It’s such a miracle.

I’m so thankful for days like this, I need to schedule them in more often. I’ve gone so long without a break, but today my husband and I finally took the time to slow down and just enjoy the world around us and each other’s company.

I can’t even begin to say what a blessing this has been or how much I’ve needed it. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, I have so many posts to write, but I’m not really sure where to begin.

For now, I’m just going to enjoy the rest of my evening without putting pressure on myself to do anything. I still have to fight back my urge to be productive, but I need to remember that quiet moments have value too.

In going so long without slowing down, I’ve been neglecting myself. It’s such a breath of fresh air to be calm and allow that to be okay.

I hope you’re having a wonderful and relaxing evening and weekend ahead of you.

To Help Them Grow

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Memories

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I’ve spent the first half of my day going through old writings and pictures. There are so many ways in which I’ve changed, and so many I’ve stayed the same.

It’s important to note that I’m not entirely proud of my time management skills. However, I think there are some important lessons I needed to learn.

I really have a lot to process right now. I’m not entirely sure where this will all lead. But there is at least one area in which it gave me peace.

I had kept an encrypted journal throughout highschool and a couple years after. I decided the other day to go back and read over some of it, but it turns out that I had forgotten the password.

I was really upset about it at the time, but now I’m wondering if maybe it was a blessing in disguise. I don’t know that I want to go back and read everything I was thinking at that time, maybe it’s better to just let it fade away. Stored somewhere in the recesses of my mind, just as memories have been for centuries.

I haven’t fully decided yet whether I’m okay with letting go, because I feel that there are important lessons to learn and self-awareness to be found in those pages, but I’m also accepting it in a way as God’s blessing, meeting me where I am.

For all I know, I might not be able to handle it right now. Maybe someday I’ll remember that password, but for now, I’m trusting that I need to do this journey without the assistance of my younger self. God’s revealed a weakness in me that I’d rely more on myself than on Him. That needs to change.