Writing Forward

I’m realizing I need to start writing more. Things come to me while writing in a way they don’t through other means. It’s like all the words I’ve kept bottled up inside me come burbling up and onto the page showing me things I didn’t even know about myself and others.

I’ve journaled sporadically throughout my life, sometimes for longer and more consistent periods of time than others. It’s interesting going back to read the old things I wrote, to see how I am different, and how I am the same. What lessons I’ve learned, what lessons I’m still grasping, and which ones I’ve learned over and over with it feeling like a new one every time.

This blog is similar. I’m always looking to understand myself, and although I’d rather look ahead, sometimes the looking back can be important to understanding. And sometimes looking back for a moment is exactly what we need to move on.

Our lives are stories we live. We watch them unfold as we live it. Never knowing what’s coming, sometimes not knowing what the purpose is. I want to document the things that are significant to me. I want to write something that matters, and I want to live a life and a story that matters.

Sometimes we seek truth in all the wrong places, we want answers, but we aren’t often willing to wait. What I do know, and have come to learn over the course of this first part of my story, is that God has a plan and a purpose, even if I can’t see the end of it while I’m drowning in the midst of it. Am I willing to trust the true Author of my life? I might like to think that I write my own story, but the truth is, I merely get to observe it as I live through the chapters.

Isn’t that beautiful? We get to capture and experience our own story, written by the Author of all, and He already knows all the events that are to come, even when we’re lost and uncertain. We can rest, completely secure in His plan and purpose.

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Rainy Monday

It’s the beginning of a new week. Mondays are a fresh start to journey forward with purpose and a plan. I haven’t done the best planning my week, I’ve just had a list of tasks that pile up, I check things off, and the stack begins to breathe… As do I.

I love rainy days. They’re so peaceful and perfect. I feel calm and relaxed, embraced in a cozy hug that doesn’t let me go.

Warm tea, my ever present companion that I’ve been neglecting for far too long. A stack of journals, notebooks, and other writings I’m trying to work through clutter my table and desk, but it’s a good kind of mess.

I’m seeing God’s faithfulness through the storm. I’m seeing the light, it shines even in darkness. I’m feeling the hope and warmth of a brighter day.

As the clutter clears and my mind is made open, I feel the healing beginning to work in me. We’re so much more than the things we do, or the lists we keep, but we have to step toward our goal, towards our future, to create and build something, it doesn’t happen by chance or complacency.

A hundred pennies make a dollar. It’s easy to forget the blessings that come when each small act of faithfulness joins the others and they make something beautiful. No step is too small. No goal is too great. And I rest in the in between, I am comforted in the still of the silence, and the faithful raindrops that continue to make their mark on the world outside my window.

Snow Day

There’s nothing like a snow day. Snuggled inside for the day with lots of blankets, pillows, and a cup of hot tea. It’s so peaceful and relaxing. The past couple weeks have been fairly busy for me, and it’s so refreshing to have an excuse to just huddle inside at home.

I can’t say snow is my favorite thing, especially in March (it should be spring!)… but I’m so thankful for it today. And let’s face it, the snow is beautiful! All white and pure. It’s amazing how some of the most dangerous things are also the most pretty. Or, how the most beautiful things can also be some of the most threatening. But today, today it is perfect.

Sweet treats, books, movies. All little things I’m grateful for today. I’ve had time to write some lists and to journal, two of my favorite things, and plan for the upcoming weeks. I’ve so needed this introvert day. 🙂

What are some of your favorite things to do on a snow day?

March On

flower-646127_640March is here. The weather can’t seem to make up its mind. One day it’s sunny, the next it’s snowing, the day after that it’s 60’s, then freezing. We can’t change the weather, we just take it as it comes. Some types might induce a grumble, others excitement, but we really just take it as it comes.

What if we viewed our feelings the same way? Some days are happy, some are sad, there are times where we feel lonely, times we’re overwhelmed and can’t wait to get away to a cozy little place by ourselves. What if we didn’t let our feelings define us, but instead focused on a specific goal, on specific values, and lived according to those? Would it make a difference?

Maybe we don’t have to label some feelings as good and some as bad, they all indicate something about us, about our inner workings, about our situation, and about what things mean to us. We could learn a great deal if we were willing to accept the bad as well as the good. There might be a seed sprouting just beneath the surface, almost ready to break through. We don’t have to shove it away, we should learn from it, all of it. And we learn to accept and continue to march on.

I think it will always be a process, and we’re always learning how to observe and accept our feelings. It isn’t always easy, and sometimes we aren’t even aware of it. Do you struggle with understanding and accepting your own feelings? Or trying to push them away and/or letting them influence your behavior? I’d love to hear from you. 🙂