Soft music plays behind me as I’m lost in my mind. I hear the cars rush by, but it’s like they’re not even there. Or… I’m not.
I feel detached from reality. In some ways it’s good, I feel a spark of hope and peace, and in other ways… In other ways I just feel alone, isolated even from myself.
I give in to the lull of the music, and let it pull me away, to a place where even my drifting thoughts are okay. And there’s a hope for finding peace.
It seems that some seasons of life require more changes than others. It’s exciting to turn the page and get a new chapter, even more bittersweet when instead of just changing chapters, we’re changing books. I’m not quite at this phase yet, but I know it’s coming soon.
This time though, the change is seen ahead of time. It’s a very different feeling going into something when it’s planned and anticipated verses when it completely catches you off guard. It’s exciting, it’s scary, it’s a bit overwhelming. But largely, I am at peace.
This time, I feel a sense of calm as I wait. Comfortable where I am, confident in where I’m going. I know it may not always be this way, but it feels like I’m finally beginning to be present where I’m at, rather than fixating solely on where I’ve been or where I’m going.
I have hope again, just a dim little flicker, but it’s something, and it’s something to hold onto. I’m so overwhelmed and thankful for the people God has placed in my life, and I’m so thankful for the ones who will stay, and so thankful to walk away and leave toxic connections behind. It’s so freeing when we know who we are and who we’re supposed to be. Even if only for a moment. In this moment, I feel peace.
I feel comfort and confident in safety. That, I know, can change in an instant, but I’m just soaking up and enjoying the calm. Planning ahead, without panic over it, what a new concept.
How do you handle changes in your life?
It’s been a long day. Now it’s time to snuggle up on the couch with a blanket, a warm cup of tea, and possibly a couple cookies. I love these little, simple moments in life.
I hope you all have a wonderful, relaxing evening. Sweet dreams.
There are moments when you lay everything down. Uncontrollable. Unstoppable.
Those moments when you kneel down with the weight of the world tied so tightly around you that you can hardly move from the floor.
Then the release.
You stand and watch the chains fall down around you. You’re lifted above them, yet never far from the solid ground.
I just saw this image on Facebook.
Kinda makes you think a little. Last consecutive date of our lifetime. I don’t know why, but the idea of that is a little scary.
Death hasn’t been something I’ve been afraid of, though it is something I think about at times. This makes me think of it again.
Even if I have a hundred more years, time is still passing. The moments that I watch go by are moments I can never get back.
I sit back and ask myself, am I making the most of it? Am I using my life for something that truly matters? I can think of many areas in my life in which I need improvement. I want to live my life with purpose.
So I ask again, am I using my precious time wisely?
I turn the question to you. Are you?
NaNoWriMo starts tomorrow and I’m still not entirely sure what I’m going to write. I suppose that only adds to the challenge and it will be an even more satisfying victory when I do complete it. (Fingers crossed on that one.) Wish me luck!
Today is a somber sort of day. The sky is dark, the leaves are (mostly) fallen. It’s these little things in life that bring us the sort of contemplation we don’t always wish to acknowledge, but the kind we often most need to for growth.
In the rain, in the storms of life, that’s when we find out who we truly are.
I’m beginning to make it sound like I’m going through a rough patch, when, in fact, it’s the exact opposite. I’ve had moments of resisting the change, I’ve had moments I’ve embraced it, and I can tell you from experience, resisting does no good.
Change is a force outside of us, though it’s important that we look within to make sure that any changes made inside still hold true to who we’re meant to be.
Changes can help shape and refine us, provided that we’re willing to do the work within ourselves to smooth our rough edges.
Attitude has so much to do with it. 
It’s so important to remain positive even when we can’t see the way out. After all, we’re not going anywhere when we waste all of our time and energy wallowing in self-pity. Of course, there is a time and place for mourning, but that’s a different matter entirely.
So as I spend the day looking inside myself, I’m not happy with everything that I see. This is a great opportunity to weed out all the things I’ve allowed to overgrow and overtake me, and reclaim the person God intended for me to be.
I still look out my window and I am so grateful for the life I’m allowed to live. Although I’m different than I once was, and I’m different from who I’m going to be, I’m still happy to be who I am.
Challenges were not meant to overcome us or defeat us, they were meant to refine us. To make us better than we could have been otherwise.
I’m very much looking forward to November–the last month of Autumn, the month of Thanksgiving, NaNoWriMo, the month of Christmas preparation, and all the other joys that come along with it. Goodbye, October. (Goodbye, gloom!) Welcome, November. I’m looking forward to sharing your happy face.
INFJ Ramblings 