Reflections On A Coming Year

It’s been a few months. And here we are, at the beginning of December, a new year, a new decade, just around the corner.

There’s some deep internal work God’s been doing in me over the past few months. At the moment I’m feeling more peace than I have in a long time, I’ve even felt joy, and I’m beginning to hope again.

It’s a strange feeling when everything in your world comes crashing down. Sometimes it comes down with a bang, sometimes it’s more subtle than that, but the ripple effects spread throughout every aspect of life.

I’m dabbling in new forms of art again. Trying to get back into writing. I’ve done a lot of journaling over the past few months, I’ve needed it desperately. And I’m so thankful to have the ability to just sit down and write and dump my thoughts and feelings on a page.

Christmas is coming, and I’m feeling excited again. There’s some apprehension with some storms I know could be coming, but I’m also feeling more stable and (hopefully) more braced for it this time.

A lot has changed this year. I haven’t fully unpacked it yet. I tend to get reflective at the end of a year. Reflecting on the past year, planning for the new. I’m not sure yet what my word for this coming year will be, or my primary goal. But I’m praying about it and have a few ideas floating around.

But every time I look back, I’m amazed at God’s faithfulness. He is so faithful to provide, to work things out, to turn things around for our good, even when we can’t see it caught in the moment.

This year has brought some really hard things, but it’s also brought good things, and with them both, clarity.

I want more clarity as I continue forward. I know that creating in some form is connected to this, I’m not fully sure how yet or what form it will take.

As I look back on this past year, I’m amazed at how far God has brought me and the work He’s done. I’m shocked in some ways to think that the beginning of this year was actually this year. It feels so far away.

Yet time passes so fast.

There’s hope for the future in a way I didn’t have before. It isn’t so much about situations changing, though it’s ever shifting, but about God strengthening me and my roots in Him through the storms. I don’t say this as if I had anything to do with it, it’s His work in me, because I couldn’t on my own.

So often I’ve felt helpless and drowning. Sometimes those seasons in the desert last far longer than we would like, but God is still faithful to lead us through to the other side.

Right now I’m just taking things one step at a time. Learning to be present. Learning to release my control.

What are your reflections on this previous year? How are you feeling about the coming of 2020? It feels a little too much like the future to me, but I’m thankful for the opportunity to be here. I’m thankful for a new chance to start again.

Quarterly

I cannot believe that 2015 is already a quarter of the way through. So far this year has been a challenging year of growth and realizations, and I hope that, to some extent, that continues.

It’s a good time to check in on progress I’ve been making, and I’m realizing that I’m a bit further behind than I would like, but I’m actually okay with it. Life isn’t just about deadlines and getting things done. I’m learning to let go of some of my perfectionism. …Maybe.

There’s so much more to life than just making it through, so much more than just passing from one day to the next. I don’t know what I’m saying exactly…

I’ve made some definite positive changes thus far this year, primarily with morning and nightly routines, and I’ve also started journaling again in an actual journal.

It’s amazing how distinguished one year can be from another. They have different feels, different potentials. So far, to me, this year seems… Stocky. Full, a little heavy, but sturdy and well built.

I don’t know what’s going to come of the rest of the year, but I’m hoping that it’s filled with improvements. So much for losing perfectionism…

Do you do quarterly check-ins? How do you feel about 2015 thus far?

2014 Wrap-Up Blog Challenge: Present Your Gifts

Image Credit

First, I want to say thank you to Linda (litebeing) for inviting me to take part in this challenge. She posted a wonderful challenge to wrap up 2014 with some end of the year reflections to guide us forward.

Litebeing was kind enough to extend questions to us, as well as the option to be as straightforward or vague as we wanted. So, for my contribution, I’ve decided to answer the main question: What were the gifts of 2014?

For me, 2014 has been a wonderful and tumultuous year filled with battles and open doors; a loss of control paired with a newfound understanding.

I’ve come a long way since last January. Such a long way that it hardly seems like it could still be the same year.

Image Credit

I started 2014 out in darkness and uncertainty. As the year progressed, I began to see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel I had been wandering through. I’ve climbed out of the pit I was in, and I’m beginning to once again feel the light of day.

So, what were the gifts of 2014?

The light is a huge one. I’ve found God’s love that wraps around me and consumes me, even when I’ve doubted and chosen not to trust in Him. He is faithful, even when I am not. I’ve learned that life isn’t always easy, or what we expect it to be. That there are some things beyond the scope of our understanding.

I’ve been able to see my role in the lives of others in a more positive light as well. I’ve stepped into being a light and a mentor at times to those around me, I’ve seen the thankfulness and joy that has resulted. I don’t pretend to believe that it was all my own doing, but I’ve become aware of the part that I’ve had to play in spreading hope to others.

One of the greatest blessings I’ve received is the realization that I don’t have to strive to be perfect. There are some who accept me as I am, and others who never will, I don’t need to change myself to try to please those who will never accept me as good enough.

I’ve allowed the coldness of my heart to melt, seeing that I’m not as toxic as they made me believe that I was. Abusers will take our weaknesses and use them to exploit us; that doesn’t reflect who we are, it reflects who they are.

I’ve learned that I can’t judge God based on the actions of others. He is kind and loving, no matter how poorly people portray Him, or how badly others twist His words against us, and Him.

In many ways, I’m not as in control of my life as I would like to be. I’m learning that that is okay, provided that my guidance is from the right place and I’m following the light. I don’t always need to be in control, but I do need to choose to trust.

I’ve learned that I can’t base my judgments of people solely on how badly I want something to be true. In doing so, I’m reclaiming my intuition.

I’m moving into 2015 with a hope that I didn’t have before. I’m carrying all of these gifts and lessons learned into the coming year, looking forward to all the blessings that are to come.

Thank you again, Linda, for this challenge; I’ve enjoyed participating. 🙂

Next post: Jamie from Sophia’s Children.

Reflections Upon A Jar

This is my day today. A cup of tea, some soft piano music playing in the background, while painting a jar.

It’s not the prettiest thing, but that’s alright. It’s me. It’s a way to relax and unwind. And, best of all, this jar has a purpose.

When I’m finished with it, this jar will be a jar of positivity where I can collect all the inspiring things I come across in the upcoming year. Things I’m grateful for, good things that have happened, and whatever else seems fitting.

I’m also realizing what a dork I am.

I named the image file “Jar And Tea.” As sad as it is, I have to admit that I laughed to myself upon reading it. It’s a jar-an-tea(guarantee)! So… Yeah.

Also, upon tagging this post, I went to add the tag “paint.” Instead, I accidentally typed “pain.” It got me thinking how important that one little letter is.

It’s kind of like each of us, even though at times we may feel small and insignificant, we can be the difference between something that brings hurt or healing. Pain or beauty.

Have a good one wherever you may be today! May you be light and a blessing, with blessings in return.