Lately I’ve been craving strawberries. We went shopping last night, and they happened to be on sale, so we bought two cartons. I can’t even begin to say how wonderful it was to enjoy those strawberries.
Sometimes we need simple pleasures in life, even if it’s just a basket of fruit. It’s good to take a moment just to enjoy and be present.
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick,but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” – Proverbs 13:12
God is good, and God is faithful, even the little things, like a carton of strawberries, can serve as a reminder that He does give good gifts. And the blessing of strawberries can be so sweet and satisfying, how much more the big things we’re waiting for?
Blogging is my solace from the storm. Actually, writing down the thoughts that swirl through my mind always brings some form of comfort. It gives me some form of stability, it’s grounding, and I can focus all my attention on one drifty flow rather than being caught up in the chaos around me.
Sometimes resisting takes more energy than allowing. We try so hard to keep it all bottled up, to hold all the hard things back, but it’s like a pressure cooker, and eventually it explodes. We might not mean for it to, we like to think we can control it. And we can, up to a point, and then, one way or another, all of the bottled up thoughts and feelings will explode, sometimes surprising us just as much (or even more) as those around us.
I’d like to be a patient person. Some say I am, but I’m not. Then again, those people also say I hold myself to too high of standards, it’s probably true. Perfectionism dies hard, and it’s hard to let go of the one thing that makes me feel like my life is under control.
I’m learning to release my grip, slowly and surely. I’ve clung to the wrong things, and let go of things that I’ve needed. I’ve drifted away with my need to manage it all, to maintain some level of peace and composure, all the while becoming more and more restless inside. Writing helps. I can freely drift from one thought to another. Letting go, not fully holding on, but releasing control and going along with the flow of words that comes streaming out.
Here, it doesn’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to be perfect. I can just let out whatever comes, and release it into the waves. They wash over me, but no longer claim me.
Will I ever find the place where I belong? I’m confident that someday, the answer is yes, but until then, I drift, not in the void, but in the fullness of grace, that steadily guides me to where I’m always meant to be.
I’ve always found it interesting that in First Corinthians the first “love is…” statement is that love is patient. I’m a VERY impatient person. I like having everything situated when it’s supposed to be situated, and I don’t like waiting around. I don’t like making others wait either.
But love is patient. And God is love. So God is also patient.
It’s taken me a long time to reach that realization, that God is patient. But through some trials, and some intense periods of waiting in my own life, I’ve come to know and experience the truth of it. God really is patient with us. With me.
Sometimes He makes us wait for things when we want them right away, sometimes the answer is no and we get frustrated with Him for not just answering our prayers right now and right this way. But He is perfect, His way is perfect, and He is a shield to all who trust in Him. Those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength. And He is faithful.
I’ve been so caught up in all the ways I’ve been waiting for God to move in my life, that I’ve forgotten to just be thankful for how patient He is as He waits around for me, waiting for me to come back to Him, waiting for me to love Him, and receive His love for me. I haven’t always been able to accept it, but I want to.
I’ve made so many mistakes in my life. And I am so incredibly thankful that God is patient with me, and never gives up on me, even when I take my dear sweet time to work through it. So often we wonder where God is in our struggle, yet we miss that we struggle with things He’s already asked us to hand over to Him. He wants to bless us, but we don’t always let Him.
I’m thankful for His love today, and I’m thankful for His incredible patience that extends far beyond what I can even imagine.
Oh what a lovely time of year! I sit here with the windows open, the fresh breeze blowing in and I can feel the change of seasons in the air. It truly is a beautiful time.
I’m wrapped in peace and comfort, not only in the comfy sweatshirt I wear for warmth, but something about the crisp air envelops me in its embrace, reassuring me that everything is going to turn out fine.
If I’m patient. If I’m willing to wait. And for this time, in this moment, I am.
Things in this life don’t always go as planned. I had an opportunity recently that seems to have fallen through. I know better things are coming along, but it’s still a bit disappointing that this one thing didn’t work out.
Sometimes it’s easy to be consumed with the negativity and a self-defeating attitude, but that is the very thing we must avoid. We never know what could be waiting just around the corner. Patience is hard though. Very hard at times.
I don’t want to be discouraged by this failed opportunity, instead, I want to learn from it so that I can do better next time and create a better future.
This post was written a couple months ago, I’m not really sure why I didn’t publish it. Now, looking back on that situation, I’m glad that things worked out as they did. Other better opportunities came along, and I’m so thankful for the light at the end of the tunnel.
I’m realizing just how tightly I’m holding on to certain areas in my life. I keep praying for answers, and yet, I’m not willing to fully surrender those areas to God. I want Him to do it my way, in my time, or I don’t want to accept the answer.
How absolutely prideful is that! I think when things matter most to us, that’s when it’s the hardest to let go. But we need to just the same, or even more.
God wants what’s best for us, even if we don’t see it as best at the time.
I’m slowly learning (trying) to let go and let God work in these certain areas in my life. It isn’t as easy as I wish it was, but maybe that’s the point.
If everything was easy, and we never had to struggle, then we couldn’t experience the joy and freedom that comes when we finally break free.
I’m learning to be still. Though even that is a struggle.
I consciously know these things, but knowing it in my head and in my heart are two different things. Sometimes I wish I was more patient, but I’m working on that too. If only I was more patient then maybe it wouldn’t be such a struggle.
Anything worth having is worth fighting for, and worth waiting for. But maybe it’s also about letting go. Maybe we need to learn to let go before we can truly have. Sometimes we just need to have hearts that are willing.
That leaves me with a question: When my mind is a tangled mess of thoughts, what is the state of my heart?
I’ve been doing this thing lately where I read one chapter of Proverbs a day. Since there are 31 chapters, I figured I can read through it once a month, correlating the date and chapter. I just started doing it again about a month ago, but it was something I had done for awhile several months ago.
It’s amazing to see the wisdom and very interesting to see which verses stand out each time reading them. It seems like every day, a different one stands out to me for some reason that is relevant in my life. Today, being the 13th, I was reading chapter 13.
The verse that really stood out to me today was 13:12, it says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.”
This verse really spoke to me because it met me exactly where I’m at. Lately I’ve been really struggling to come to terms with not having certain things I had hoped for; things I thought I’d have by now, but still don’t.
I can honestly say, from experience, that not having those things does make the heart sick. There are times that I think of it, and I just feel physically ill. But here’s the thing, it says “hope deferred.” That doesn’t mean that the hope will never manifest itself in reality, it just means that it’s postponed. God’s timing isn’t our timing, it can be incredibly frustrating at times, but our job is not to figure it all out, or to answer the why, our responsibility is to trust anyway.
This is the best part, if the hope is only postponed, it’s still coming, and it comes with a promise that “when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.”
A tree of life. Isn’t that amazing. Hope is the seed that we plant, and even if we have to wait longer than we expected or anticipated, that tree will grow, and it will be a tree of life. A tree that will bear fruit, and we will reap a reward far greater than we could have imagined.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above.”
God gives us the desires of our hearts. I don’t think that means that He gives us whatever we want, but rather, that He places those desires in our hearts. God wouldn’t place something there unless He intends to use it.
Maybe we need that little seed to carry us through a dark time, maybe we’re not ready even though we think we are, but God has something bigger and better than we could ever imagine planned, it is then we have to wait, and trust, even if we don’t feel the hope anymore, that desire will come, and it will be a tree of life. You can’t see a seed that’s planted in the ground, but you can still hope that it will grow.
Romans 5:3-5 says, “but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
And James 1:2-4, “count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”
“Lacking nothing,” I love that. But then there’s also Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” If we choose not to trust, if we lose that faith, then where is the hope? And if we lose hope, then where is the faith?
We have times of weakness, we’re human, we can’t do it in our own power, but God can. “He who has began a good work in you will complete it.” And “We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good.”
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” it was not said in an accomplishment sort of way, but in context was that we could endure any hardships and victories, only in the power of Christ. When we are weak, He is strong.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.” We just need to trust, as long as we’re doing that, we’re on the right path. We’re not guaranteed understanding, in fact, we’re told we’re going to have to trust in spite of not understanding. But rather, we’re promised that His light will lead us, and He will direct our paths.
“When I am afraid, I will trust in You.” Even though the storms may come, when we don’t know where this path will lead, when we can’t see the next step, God does. And if we trust in Him, He promises to guide us and protect us. He promises to give us the desires of our hearts, and if He has begun that work in us, He will bring it to life.
Lately I’ve been trying to take steps toward being the best me I can be. I don’t mean this in a narcissistic way, I mean it in the sense that I want to live to my full potential.
I have many small habits I’m trying to stop. An example would be that I’m an impatient person, so instead of snapping at those I love, I would rather be aware of myself enough to know that the habit of impatience does not define me and I do not need to give in to that urge. It will pass.
Then I have others I’m beginning to really grasp on to. Examples are having both morning and nightly routines.
I can’t pretend to be perfect (I’m very far from it), but I’m learning what a big difference those small changes can make. I’m also learning to stop judging myself for every little thing I do wrong, and instead focus on how I can do better next time.
Image Found On Facebook
This life is always moving forward. We don’t have any control over that. Time will always be slipping through our fingers, but what we can control is what we do with it in that moment that we hold it in our hands.
I was talking with my little brother the other day, and in the conversation he mentioned, “it’s as easy as buying a pie.” It got me thinking. A long time ago I had a similar thought — Life is like pie. Store bought pie may be easier, but it doesn’t taste nearly as good as homemade.
Sometimes the work we put into things factors in to our enjoyment of them. This life wasn’t meant to be easy, it was meant to be worth it. Sometimes we complicate things for ourselves unnecessarily, that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about taking the easy way out when that way isn’t best.
My dad always said that God blesses effort. I fully believe that to be true. Sometimes we sit back waiting for a miracle when God is waiting on us to use the things He’s already given us. “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much.” (Luke 16:10)
Even when we feel that we don’t have much to offer, we still need to be faithful in it. We still need to do our part. “In all your ways acknowledge Him (God) and He will direct your steps.” (Prov. 3:5) How can God direct our steps when we’re unwilling to take that step of faith?
This life can be hard sometimes, following dreams can be so much harder than sitting back and letting it all pass by. But what kind of life would that lead to? We need to get in and do the gritty work, knowing that the reward will be so much greater, and so much more meaningful.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in wanting things to be easy that we lose hope when we come against some opposition, yet we fail to see all the blessings that come through the struggles.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, even though walking through the dark is hard, we need to continue, knowing that the light will shine even brighter.
How often do we want to push things forward, without any recognition for the reasons we may need to stand still?
We don’t understand time. Time is out of our control, but let’s be thankful today that regardless of how lost or impatient we may feel, that perfect timing is in His control.
Lately I’ve been craving strawberries. We went shopping last night, and they happened to be on sale, so we bought two cartons. I can’t even begin to say how wonderful it was to enjoy those strawberries.
Blogging is my solace from the storm. Actually, writing down the thoughts that swirl through my mind always brings some form of comfort. It gives me some form of stability, it’s grounding, and I can focus all my attention on one drifty flow rather than being caught up in the chaos around me.
“Love is patient…”
INFJ Ramblings 
