Thoughts On A Beautiful Day

It’s a beautiful day. The sun is shining brightly through the trees and I feel peace. I want to get outside and take a walk. Being out in nature is always so peaceful, so relaxing, it’s like a reset.

I miss having a porch, a place I could go and journal, write, and let my mind just drift where it went. Back and forth.

Yet it’s a reminder to be thankful for the things I do have. I still have a nice apartment, I still live in a location where I can get out in (some) nature. And for that, I am thankful.

I’m thankful for the life I’ve been given, and for the ability to walk. For the ability to see the world around me, and to feel the fresh air.

It’s moments like these I’m able to be in the moment, and for that momentary ability, I am grateful.

What things are you grateful for today?

Beautiful Morning

It’s a beautiful day today, birds are singing outside my windows, and everything’s come to life. I love that burst in the spring and summer, where everything blooms, one after another. The noises are more peaceful, and there isn’t really silence, and that’s okay, it’s a good kind of noise.

I’ve been trying to get out for walks lately. I think I’m going to try to get out some today. I’m always hesitant to go out alone, though I generally find I enjoy it when I do. My mind drifts and wanders, and it’s a very different experience than walking with others. I suppose that’s part of what scares me too, I’m so checked out and in my own little world that I’m both hyper-aware and unaware of what’s going on around me.

Getting out in nature is good for me. I used to be outside all the time, I miss that. It’s calm and peaceful, and there’s a hope that can’t be quantified. I like feeling free to explore, not boxed in. I’m struggling with that some today. Feeling like all my responsibilities are holding me back, when I really just want to be free.

Even in the warmer weather, I still have a cup of hot tea, and I’m thankful for this morning and this moment, a time to take a rest and breathe before fully starting my day.

Thank you also for being here, and for reading along on my journey.

What are some of your favorite ways to start your day?

Cozy Thoughts

There’s nothing like sitting with a hot cup of tea and a good book. A real one, one with actual pages to turn. Maybe I’m weird, but I love having an actual, physical book to read. It changes the whole experience.

I’ve been so sad at times about how much society and culture has lost with the progression of time. I very much appreciate modern technology, but sometimes I wish we could have both, rather than having to choose one life or another.

I’m not entirely sure what my point is here. I guess, I want some small sensory comforts that have been seemingly lost, and I fear the day when these small comforts are gone forever.

Maybe it’s in part from my inferior Se. I tend to get so overwhelmed at times, and I need a way to use and validate the Se, while also not doing anything that pushes me too far to become overwhelming. And that’s probably the HSP part of me.

Sometimes I feel like I have so many moving pieces, so many different parts of myself. And I’m not sure who I am anymore. Maybe I never did. Isn’t that the stereotypical INFJ question: Who am I?

The thing is, we will never know. We will never be able to fully quantify what or who we are. Because we are many things, not just one thing, as comforting as being one thing may sometimes sound. But we, as humans, are always in flux, always in motion, always moving from one point in time to another. And with that movement, things change, we change.

We will never be a single definable thing. Names and labels might help some, but even the best of labels still can’t encompass or quantify all we truly are.

So, for now, I will enjoy just sitting back with these pages in my hands, the words to enjoy. Even if only for a moment, even if they drift from the page and into my mind, or the other way around, because words always leave an impact. They always leave a trace of where they’ve been, and what and who they’ve touched. Words themselves may be forgotten, but their substance, their life, will continue to live on in our hearts and in our minds.

A Peaceful Saturday

I’m enjoying a relaxing Saturday morning, I love those cloudy rainy days where there’s no pressure and we can just huddle in and relax. I sit here with a smoothie, the dishwasher running in the background is soothing.

Nowhere to go, no people to meet. Though my husband and I have talked about going out for a walk later if it’s clear. I’m realizing more and more the importance of stepping back and taking a break to breathe. And in this moment, I feel content, and I feel peace. It’s a good place to be.

How are you enjoying your Saturday? I hope you all have a lovely day! 🙂

Snow Day

It’s a snow day today. The world is coated in white, and I’m cozy inside, writing the day away with a cup of tea nearby. The tasks pile up like the snow outside, but today, I’m oddly feeling more calm and peace.

Sometimes we need a chance to step back, take a break (or just be more planned and intentional), and refocus on what truly matters. I’ve gotten more done this morning than I have the past several days. I find it interesting how when I loosen up and let go of the pressure I put on myself, how my productivity is far greater. Why do I still struggle to step back and take rest when I need it?

I’m thankful for the snow day today, and thankful for the calmer mindset. Sometimes we need to be snowed in to realize that what we have inside is enough. Why is it so hard to just take time for me?

I have a hard time saying no. That’s one of the things I want to work on this year. I feel pulled in multiple directions, so I end up standing still, breaking beneath the tension and only doing the bare minimum. This leaves me feeling more worthless, and more like I’m not enough, because nothing I ever do is good enough, because nothing I ever do is my best.

I’m slowly learning to breathe, though there are plenty of days I’m still caught up in the lies my mind whispers. I’m thankful for days like these that force me to step back and look at things from a different perspective. And I’m thankful for the time to self-reflect with a blank page and whatever time I need.

What things are you thankful for today? What lessons are you working to bring into your life?

Relaxing Saturday

It’s amazing what a difference a week can make. Last weekend I was feeling drained and overwhelmed, unable to think clearly. This week… well, I feel like I’m really able to just relax. And oh how nice that is!

Maybe having a more productive yet less busy week has something to do with my mental state. Actually, I’m sure of it. It’s so nice to have a break to just chill at home without anything weighing on me or hanging over my head. Sure, I have tasks I could do, but nothing I absolutely have to do.

So I’m spending the day doing some writing, watching tv, just hanging out in pjs on the couch. Maybe in a bit I’ll have some tea or make some cookies. Baking is always good and I haven’t had the chance to do that in a while.

What are you up to this weekend?

Rainy Monday

It’s the beginning of a new week. Mondays are a fresh start to journey forward with purpose and a plan. I haven’t done the best planning my week, I’ve just had a list of tasks that pile up, I check things off, and the stack begins to breathe… As do I.

I love rainy days. They’re so peaceful and perfect. I feel calm and relaxed, embraced in a cozy hug that doesn’t let me go.

Warm tea, my ever present companion that I’ve been neglecting for far too long. A stack of journals, notebooks, and other writings I’m trying to work through clutter my table and desk, but it’s a good kind of mess.

I’m seeing God’s faithfulness through the storm. I’m seeing the light, it shines even in darkness. I’m feeling the hope and warmth of a brighter day.

As the clutter clears and my mind is made open, I feel the healing beginning to work in me. We’re so much more than the things we do, or the lists we keep, but we have to step toward our goal, towards our future, to create and build something, it doesn’t happen by chance or complacency.

A hundred pennies make a dollar. It’s easy to forget the blessings that come when each small act of faithfulness joins the others and they make something beautiful. No step is too small. No goal is too great. And I rest in the in between, I am comforted in the still of the silence, and the faithful raindrops that continue to make their mark on the world outside my window.

Peaceful Days

I sit here in the quiet, cup of warm tea in hand, snow falling gently outside my window. It’s been a cozy, but busy, week so far. The perfect start of 2017.

I have lots of hopes for this new year. I pray it’s a year of growth and healing. A year when we fight the demons within us, and find hope again. I feel it starting. The underlying current of anxiety lessens, and a deep peace and calm washes over me. Oh how I love to be snuggled in my home when the world outside is cold and blanketed in white.

How has your first week of 2017 been so far? I’d love to hear from you! 🙂

Self-Care, Calming Down

I sit here on the couch, snuggled in a blanket with a warm cup of tea nearby. The last bit of sleepiness from a restless night has yet to wear off and I find myself comforted and more at peace than I’ve been in a while.

Yesterday was a long day, this whole week has been long. It hasn’t been bad, just busy. I’ve been out a lot, around a lot of people, and I’m just finding myself completely drained. Last night I was worn down enough that I decided I just needed some time to be an INFJ. And so I did. I went upstairs, sat in a bungee chair, had some tea, and just wrote. Then I read a little, which I haven’t made time for in quite a while.

It was so calming and relaxing. I need more of that. It’s so easy to get caught up in the business of life and not make time for the things that make us who we are. It’s easy to neglect ourselves. We say that we don’t need it, or that we shouldn’t, but self-care is hugely important. And it affects all those around us too.

I’m learning, slowly, to honor my own needs. It’s a challenge at times, and sometimes when things start piling up (sometimes literally) and my to-do list starts to grow into an unmanageable seeming length, I feel like I can’t afford to take the time for myself, but that’s exactly when I can’t afford NOT to.

What is something small you can do today to take care of yourself? What things do you find calming and relaxing?

I hope you all have a wonderful Saturday. 🙂

Summer Nights

I’m so thankful for evening walks and the cooler summer’s night air. It’s nights like this that I feel inspired and full of hope. I even saw a shooting star!

I hope you’re all having a lovely night. 🙂